Saturday, July 27, 2013

Dennis Heil

Hello and Happy Saturday!

I wish to thank Doug Doan for his wonderful interview. I very much enjoyed reading your answers Doug and I thank you for sharing your journey with us!

Today we have a new interview so please welcome Dennis Heil. Dennis is a Core Spiritualist and I know you will enjoy his interview as well!

Here Is Dennis Heil's Introduction:

Salutations. My name is Dennis Heil (alias Grimm). I am a 33 year old with Type 2 Bipolar Disorder with Major Depression and High Functioning Autism that spent 15 years undiagnosed. After a few years of working on getting well; I now use my experience, misery, and insanity to help and educate others that I cross paths with in life and through my Bipolar Manifesto ( I've been homeless, lived in the ghetto, struggled with drug and alcohol abuse, racked up a half-dozen suicide attempts, and lost almost everything to the Disorder over and over until I was finally diagnosed. Today I work as an online marketer/writer, amateur currency trader; and I'm pursuing a career as a mental health Peer Specialist.

1. What religion do you practice?

I most identify with a concept called Core Spirituality. Essentially- it accepts that there is an underlying spiritual connection through all of creation and the universe. The act of belief or just being in tune with the spiritual allows a person to tap it. No one belief system is right or wrong; they are all "right" because they all exercise the part of the mind that governs this connectivity. Some people are naturally in tune,
others have to work at it. The mind needs exercise like any other muscle to improve and stay in shape. Example- critical thinking and problem solving exercises can help stave off mental degeneration in the elderly.

When I was younger, rejecting Christianity, and more angry; I was a Laveyan Satanist. No- I didn't hurt any animals or anyone because of it. I still carry quite a few of those beliefs with me as well that I use in my day to day life. Man is just another animal, although more intelligent and cruel. Waste no love on ingrates, lavish it on those that are deserving. Ignorance is the only true sin. Satan just served as a metaphor for your own soul and whatever desire, love, darkness, or light resided there. No greater power gives a shit about you- so you
better do for yourself through any means necessary.

2. Are you a convert/revert or were you raised in this religion? If you were converted, what did you need to do to convert? And what did you practice prior to converting?

I was raised as a Christian Methodist. You don't really do anything to adopt any of the beliefs previously mentioned other than adjusting your own world view. There are some psychotic Satanists that do stupid shit to "show their allegiance" but I never did. I didn't feel like it was empowering to do harm to anyone or anything weaker than me. Those idiots are the main reason I moved further away from it. Nobody wants to spend
time with a bunch of narcissists who won't shut up about how great they are and how inferior everyone else is. You're not a delicate, unique snowflake; and neither am I.

3. Within your religion are there degrees of observance (ie. orthodox, conservative, moderate, liberal)? What are the defining differences between the degrees of observance?

No. The few people I've talked to who are Core Spiritualists all seemed to be on their own individual headings. It's not an incredibly popular or well known belief system so I don't feel like there are the numbers required to actually cause those divisive splits in belief.

4. Within your religion what degree of observance are you (ie. orthodox, conservative, moderate, liberal)? Why did you choose this degree of observance?

Casual. Very casual. I find it strange that I got your email when I did as not even a week ago I started spiritual research again. For the most part- I have plenty going on here in the meat world and after the life I've lived; I really don't give a shit about impressing any higher powers. I am what I am. I do what I do. I do what I can with the hand I was dealt. I didn't ask to be Bipolar. Today- I do the best I can to make other peoples' lives better when I cross paths with them and use all that negativity I racked up when I was younger for something
positive. If that's not good enough for "the higher power"; then fuck 'em.

5. What is the Afterlife within your religion? For example: what happens when a person dies? Are there places for reward/punishment? (Such as a Heaven/Hell concept.)

Core Spirituality assumes that the soul is an energy of sorts. Dying is just to leave your body behind and move on to a different state of existence. A good analogy is water- it's the same whether it's vapor, liquid, or ice. It's just in a different state. Within that existence are varying levels. In the lower vibrations you find dark spirits, evil, and other malevolent entities. In the upper vibrations you find good spirits, good, or ambivalent entities.

Does the spirit move on to reward/punishment? No. The universe is ordered chaos. Concepts like Heaven/Hell, Westernized Karma, and The Rule of Three all exist to provide comfort in an understandable way. Good is rewarded, evil is punished. But you don't really see that as a natural part of humanity. It is imposed through law and order. Go to a lawless land and you see that strength and fear rule. Some people are just evil, some are bastions of goodness; many are just in the middle.

6. In your opinion, does everyone make it into heaven/paradise? If they do not, why?

I don't think there is a "heaven" type plane. There's most likely many planes of existence; some good, some bad.

7. What makes your religion a good fit for you?

I looked at a lot of religions while I was trying to "find myself" and I noticed a lot of overlap. That overlap strengthened when I took a heavier interest in the paranormal. As an example- mention "exorcism" and most people think of Catholic exorcists. However, almost every major religion has some form of exorcism to drive off an invasive spirit; whether it be a demon, angry ancestor, or a Djinn.

I've also long looked for answers to a few strange things that have happened in my life. The three starkest involved feeling and knowing things I should not have. I've been engaged twice. The first woman was pulled into an alleyway and raped in California, the second was in a bad car accident in Michigan. In both cases, I was in Ohio. Both times, and only on those two times; I was filled with overwhelming dread and it felt like someone stuck a white hot knife into my stomach right where a belt buckle would be. This happened as these actions were taking place.

The third strange occurrence I was sitting at a light; it turned green, but something in my head say "No, wait." So I did. About five seconds later a pickup ran the red and either would have t-boned me, my ex, and her family; or the car behind us. Sprinkle that with various happenings in my life like dread before going into an abandoned house or alley; or knowing when a drive by or something else was going to occur a couple
minutes before it did when I lived in the ghetto. In my eyes, the only thing that could accommodate these kinds of things is a much larger tapestry that we're all apart of.

I'm also a great believer in science. I think science and spirituality can co-exist. The truth is the truth. It doesn't matter what you believe or how you feel about it. At their core, they both are essentially a quest for the truth. Scientific principles should be applicable to spiritual principles and come up with roughly the same answers. As an example- ghosts are suspected to be an energy state. When a ghost is going to take an action it needs energy to do so. Many times a person will feel a blast of cold air or an electronic device will die as the
spirit takes thermal or electrical energy. These kinds of things happen over and over in investigation to the point where experienced investigators will often bring an entire bag of back up batteries. A blast of cold air can be explained a number of ways but makes far less sense in regards to Thermal Dynamics if you're investigating a decommissioned prison in Georgia in 100 degree weather.

Core Spirituality feels right because it accommodates everything without trying to force it. I felt like any spiritual belief had to accommodate these things I've felt and "known". I concluded it had to be some greater connection otherwise how could I have felt these things transpiring around me or to people I loved?

8. What are your Holy Days and what do you do to celebrate them?

I don't observe any personally. I would observe with friends and family though. Christmas is pretty normal. I think for a lot of people it's taken on a different meaning than just celebrating the birth of Christ by observing Pagan traditions. To me it's just a holiday to celebrate family nowadays.

9. Do you consider people of other faiths to be your friends?

Yes. I don't particularly care what religion someone is so long as they aren't an ass-hat about it. I also have a very good Christian friend who I just don't discuss spiritual matters with because I always inadvertently make her cry. So I feel like not discussing it is as an option too.

10. Would you ever join people of another faith to celebrate one of their holy days? Please explain why?

Yeah, for the most part. I think there may possibly be some lines. Like; I don't know if I would go out of my way to try and shoehorn my way in but if I was invited then yes. So long as I don't end up accidentally married to someone- I'm good with it!

11. What are your thoughts on the burka, and Shariah Law?

A burka should be the woman's choice. If she wants to wear it; that's fine.The question of Shariah Law is a whole different can of worms. As an American, I believe in separation of Church and State. That goes for Christian ideals just as much as Shariah Law. I don't believe anyone should be forced to live under religious beliefs. I also realize there are varying degrees of Islamic belief. They have their ultra-conservative whack-jobs like Christians have their Westboro Baptist Church. Although I'm not sure if I even believe WBC are actually religious. If you've used the internet for awhile, you'll probably note their behavior is pretty standard internet trolling. They're loud, obnoxious, and won't go away because they keep getting attention.

Neutrality in governance ensures that those whack-jobs never have enough power to strip rights away. I would go so far as to say that I would like to see less accommodation for religions in government. It's absolutely ridiculous that the Church of Scientology could perpetrate the largest infiltration of the United States government (Operation: Snow White) and they're still a fully functional cult hiding behind that
constitutional protection. Same goes for the Catholic church jockeying around child rapists instead of assisting law enforcement to put those sick fucks behind bars where they belong.

12. Are women allowed to hold religious office (priest, minister, rabbi, iman etc) in your religion and how do you feel about it?

I have little respect for any religion that does not treat women as equals. It just makes no sense to me to treat a woman as an inferior. For what reason? Because they have different genitals? Just seems like a relic of a bygone era of male dominance.

13. Does your place of worship segregate? If yes, how does this make you feel?

I don't attend one and I would not if it did.

14. How much does your religion affect your daily life and how much thought do you give it when making a decision? Does it affect in any way your decision on abortion, gay marriage, etc?

Core Spirituality really doesn't. I pretty much just do the best I can with what I'm given. That's just going to have to be enough. As to the major social hot button issues; I'm mostly only concerned with ones surrounding mental health. I don't have the energy to be incredibly involved with several other issues and what I do working with mentally ill people and their loved ones in addition to my job.

There are different concepts in Laveyan Satanism I use regularly. I deal with a wide range of mentally ill people. Some are genuinely in need of help, some just want me to tell them it's okay to be shitty because they have problems, and still others just need a friend who understands.

That is where the phrase I mentioned before "Waste no love on ingrates, lavish it on those that are deserving" comes into heavy play. I don't pity anyone. I've had people try to guilt me into endlessly consoling them. I do not waste love on ingrates- I do not give a huge amount of my attention to people that aren't trying to help themselves. I cannot make anyone get well. They have to realize it. They have to look down and realize they are at the bottom. That the only way up is for them to climb. And patting their ass and telling them "no, it's okay if you don't do anything about it" is not how it's going to happen.

If I spent all of my "love" on these people; I wouldn't have the energy for those that are ready. Similarly; you can't afford to be weak-willed or minded if you're involved with someone who has a potentially dangerous psychiatric problem. I had one person I was involved with who, though there were some serious psych problems at work, wasn't that difficult to work with. The actual problem was the person's family who were all mentally ill in some way and had torn said person down since they were a toddler. You cannot walk into that kind of situation with weakness.

To those of you reading this that have a mentally ill person in your life that treats you like crap but does nothing to fix themselves- they will drag you straight to the bottom. It can hurt like hell; but sometimes you just have to cut them loose so they can hit the bottom and realize that they have to change themselves. Accommodating their bullshit will only destroy you and prolong their realization.

On the flip side of the coin; I have infinite patience for someone who is genuinely trying. I will gladly lavish on whatever attention, advice, or help I can give them. I'm also more than willing to help someone I had to part with prior if they are ready and willing to do what needs to be done.

15. How would you react/feel if your child wished to marry outside of your religion?

No problems so long as it wasn't a cult or some extremist group.

16. In your opinion, if someone is not of your faith, will they go to hell?

Nah. I believe there are lower planes filled with plenty of nasty things but I don't think there is a specific hell where bad souls go to be punished. Even Laveyan Satanists don't believe in Hell as they treat Satan as a metaphor rather than an actual being.

17. Who do you think is not a practicing ----- in your religion and why? ie who in the public domain claims to speak for your religion? Do you agree with them or not?

I don't know of anyone that "represents" that belief system in a way that would be identifiable. It's not really something that has a lot of organization to it as most of the journey is individual in nature. There's no places of worship or dioceses or anything like that; to the best of my knowledge.

18. Have you ever been the target of a hate crime? Please explain.

Yes, but not due to religion. I used to live in the Detroit ghetto and am a 6'4", 350 pound white man- so I might have been carrying around a neon sign that said "TARGET". So I got to get my ass kicked on a number of occasions for just living there. I have to say that I don't particularly blame them either. Pretty much everyone ignores the poor in this country unless it's time to cut social service programs. And since white people pretty much have the power- well, that's where the anger gets projected.

Some examples- kids were getting hit by strays in schools from drug and gang violence in the ghettos long before Columbine, but there was no outrage or national media attention until it was middle class white America dealing with it. Occupy Wall Street was a complete farce because it's the exact same problem anyone coming out of prison or who lives in known ghetto areas run into. Jobs were disappearing long before it hit middle class America. Few knew or cared until the news could cover the
"plight" of white college kids.

The illegal drug trade in America was twice the size of the automotive industry during the 80's when crack was tearing apart black neighborhoods. Number of black people with the fleets of ships and planes to move it or resources to protect it? Not many. And then it took the government 30 years to figure out crack is identical to cocaine in addictiveness and fix their biased legislation that gave ridiculous penalties to possessors of crack (poor people/minorities) as opposed to cocaine (rich people/whitey).

Privatization of prisons is just going to make matters worse. America has a higher rate of incarceration in it's population of 300m than China or India who both have approximately 1.1b residents. Because, of course, corporate America is so trustworthy and would never do anything to exploit the poor except on all those occasions when they do. (Slave wages, union breaking in foreign countries, barely legal labor
practices, hiding/burying criticism, etc)
I think it's best exemplified in a news headline I saw a few months ago. It read something to the effect of "Gang Members Prefer Work To Violence". It was a study that polled gang members about how they viewed their lives and futures. It's the kind of conclusion anyone could reach if they gave about five minutes of consideration to the question. You mean people don't want to be involved in something where their life
expectancy is 25, who have been burying friends for years, who have lost family to violence and drugs or didn't have any in the first place, who know their only destination is a casket or a jail cell? Color me shocked.

So yeah, I got my fat white ass kicked on more than a few occasions with some aches and pains that still suck because of it. It's all good though. I understand and I'm not angry about it anymore. And it made me plenty strong enough to deal with the people I do now. Getting punched n the face by someone you're trying to help periodically happens. Helps to not fall to pieces and panic when it happens.

19. Do you ever feel like your religion devalues you?


20. Does your religion give you peace of mind?

No. But I don't need my religion for that. The psych medication has given me peace of mind. Helping other people understand mental illness, help their loved ones, and help themselves gives fulfillment which also contributes to peace of mind. I feel like spirituality is a component but it's not a major focal point of my existence.

21. Do you believe in reincarnation?

I don't see why it couldn't be a possibility.

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